Comedy

TERRIBLE TOOTHACHE

 

Akpos went to his neighbour and asked him if he had any remedy for his terrible toothache.
AKPOS: I'm having a terrible toothache can you help me?
NEIGHBOUR: Last week I had more terrible toothache than yours, I just kissed my wife and it stop.
AKPOS: Please where is your wife let's start immediately.

Akpos is currently receiving treatment in the hospital for heavy injuries

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE LAZY HUSBAND

 

A newly wed couple moves into their house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says!
WIFE: Honey, you know in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?
HUSBAND: What do I look like Mr. Plumber?
A few days go by and he comes home from work!
WIFE: Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?
HUSBAND: What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?
The next day the husband comes back home from work! The plumbing is fixed, so is the roof and so is the car! He asked his wife what happened.
WIFE: Oh, I had a handyman come fix them.
HUSBAND: How much did it cost?
WIFE: Nothing, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him!
HUSBAND: Which cake did you bake?
WIFE: Do I look like Cakes n Cream.

 

 

TOO LATE

 

 

Akpos went to the hospital and asked to be castrated.

DOCTOR: Sir, are you sure this is what you want?
AKPOS: Yes my mind is made up, I am ready.

After the procedure he walked out feeling sore, on his way out he met another man also feeling sore.

AKPOS: Did you get castrated as well?
MAN: No, I came to get circumcised.

Akpos: Oh my God! That's the word! Doctor! Doctor.. 

 

 

 

RAPE CASE 

 

 A prostitute sued a man to court for rape.

Judge to prostitute: So when did you realize you were raped?
Prostitute [wiping away tears]: When the cheque bounced! 

 

 

 

 

 

LONG TRIP

On a bus going from Ibadan to Lagos, the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang she picks it and said "Honey, I'm in a bus going to Abuja for the burial, I'll call you when I get there".

Another girl's phone rang, she said "Sweetheart I'm on my way to Port-Harcourt for the Masters Degree Form, pls send me Credit for the trip."

Another one's phone rang, she said..."Alhaji, sorry I'm on my way to Owerri for the interview, I'll call you later."

A man who was sitting at the back of the bus suddenly raises his voice in anger "Driver stop please park! Park this bus! Where exactly is this bus going to!!!?"